Dear Bar Exam Gods,

I would very much appreciate it if you could comply with the following requests next week:

(1) a community property essay
(2) a wills or trusts essay
(3) a torts essay
(4) a civil procedure essay (with not too many picky CA rules)
(5) a professional responsibility essay (especially one where i get to talk about sex with clients)
(6) a con law essay, contracts essay with not too many numbers, or a property question about easements

I would also very much appreciate if you could abstain from the following:

(1) any question that mentions evidence
(2) a full-blown remedies question that requires me to know the difference between equitable liens and constructive trusts
(3) a community property essay relying heavily on the matter of lucas
(4) the mere mention of the word "mortgage"
(5) a weird performance test that Honisberg will later make fun of
(6) an MBE question about a Halloween prank gone bad

As consideration for your compliance with the above requests, I will tender 2 sheep for sacrifice to the bar exam Gods (I have a couple from my bar prep class in mind...). This offer may be accepted either by a return promise or by full performance to be completed by July 26th.

Sincerely,

/s Amanda